DAY 9

So today is day number 9 of my journey of becoming a non smoker. For the most part I feel like I am doing pretty darn good.
Hubby smokes, that really made the weekend harder than I expected, but i sailed through with no stumbles. I won't lie I had some really strong cravings but was able to breath through them.
We went out to eat on Friday night and had some really great food. If there is ever a time a smoker wants a smoke it is after a wonderful meal. I have never understood this but it is the way the addiction works. So after dinner i fought off the craving by going for a short walk.
I even made it through finding out that our truck is going to take more than what we thought to repair it. Someone seems to think stopping is important when in a truck. It isn't the brakes, but the something or other for the anti lock brakes that is keeping the brakes from working correctly. I even managed to handle daughter telling us she is ready to move and has an apartment that she can move in to within a week.....shocked but happy.
I made it through yesterday just fine. All was well the cravings were almost not even there. Woohoo on the right path almost out of the woods.
Then this morning happened. One good yelling at from the son and I caved. Ok, I tried breathing, pointing out that his form of communication was unacceptable, tried talking to hubby, tried gum and I still couldn't fight it, so I had half a cigarette. I know I am still emotional weak and am working on that. Cigarettes have been my emotional crutch for many years, I fell back into old habits. I have picked myself up and brushed myself off and am back on track. Now how does one get the itching to stop.
I still have a lot of work to do on the emotional end of things, but am hanging in there. I need to find a new way to deal with the nasty part of life. I don't think most smokers realize how much they depend on cigarettes in times of stress and discontent.
If anyone is actually reading this and has a good idea for dealing with the emotional side of things PLEASE let me know.

BECOMING A NON SMOKER

For a while I am going to use my blog as an aid in becoming a non smoker.
I have smoked on and off since I was 17. This is one of the worst decisions I have ever made, becoming a smoker that is.

On Sunday, Easter Day, I smoked 18 cigarettes. I had my last one right around 10 pm. Monday morning when I woke up, my chest was tight, I was coughing, and I couldn't breathe. I grabbed a cigarette from my pack and went right out the back door. I lit it and took a drag, cough cough cough cough, I put it out and said I was done. At that moment in time I felt weak but very strong at the same time. I knew right then and there that I was meant to be a non-smoker.

Since then I have stumbled twice, once on Monday afternoon and once today. Monday I smoked the entire cigarette and felt horrible. I needed to smoke that one so I could remind myself why I was giving them up. Today, when I stumbled I did it out of pain and anger. My wrist was hurting and I was angry at myself for making my wrist hurt. There are other reasons why I was angry but they really aren't that important. I know the reasons and have talked them over with myself. I only smoke part of that cigarette, once I realized what I was doing I put the thing out. I came in the house, changed my clothing, brushed my teeth and scrubbed my hands.

Once Scott got home from work today I told him what I had done. He was understanding and supportive. He did take the rest of the ones I had laying around and got rid of them for me....out of sight out of mind kind of thing...we will see. I am lucky to have a great supportive husband. When his turn to quit comes I will remember how wonderful he has been for me and try to be just as great for him.

Actually for the most part this has gone pretty well. Tuesday was rough, today was rough but not as bad as Tuesday. I know I will have bumps in the road, we all do in all parts of our lives. I just need to pick myself up, brush myself off and move forward. No looking back and dwelling on my stumbles.

No, I really am not using any aids, the nicotine gum once in a while. I really can't use the aids. I have an allergy to the patch and gum. The pills make me feel crazy. So I am quitting cold turkey with a touch of gum here and there. I am finding myself scratching a lot today, not sure if it is from the gum or from the partial cigarette I smoked earlier. I know that no matter which one it is it is because of my allergy to nicotine....fun.

I really am ready to be a non-smoker. I am moving forward and will be posting as I make this journey. If you get bored with my posts, move on, if you find inspiration great, keep coming back to read as I progress. Please just remember these posts are for me and a way to help myself. Wish my luck. If you are a smoker and wanting to quit, there is no time like the present, join me on my journey.

Ice Queen

I just finished binding off The Ice Queen. The pattern can be found over at Knitty. I used Cascade Yarn Baby Alpaca. I knit version A of the pattern. I really like the end product, the process was a bit of a struggle at first, but once I got going all went well. I also left off the beads. I am still trying to decide if i am keeping it or gifting it to my mom. I am wearing it now trying to make up my mind.

Now I am going to knit the Helena sweater for the older sister.

HELENA DONE

I finished the baby sweater today. I used the Helena pattern from www.knitty.com and Bernat baby Jacquard for the yarn. I will cast on the matching toddler sweater later this week. That will be for the older sister. I still have to find the perfect buttons for both sweaters. I like buttons better than the ties.

When both sweaters are completed then I am making hats for both girls.

KNITTING PROJECTS COMPLETED!!!!

My wonderful young niece, that I call Bug, asked me to fix the shrug i made her for Christmas several years ago. The thing was worn with love and falling apart so Auntie to the rescue, I made her a new one.
I love the colorway of this yarn. It really reminds me of her eyes. Wish I could have gotten a better picture. Red Heart Super Saver colorway:ocean, the pattern is from Berroco, Rena. The great thing about this little shrug is she can wear two different ways. Seam on the shoulders or down below the arms. She really liked it, that is the important thing.


I started Mr. Greenjeans way last summer. I had the issue with my arm that made it very painful to knit. He was put on the back burner even when I was able to knit again because he just weighed to much. In November I pulled the lovely sweater out of the bag and got busy finishing it. I am glad I did. I have worn it several times and love how it fits and feels. I might make this pattern again, not sure, but if I do i will be using a natural fiber so that I can properly block it. Yarn is Caron Simply Soft in Berry.

I have admired the Clapotis for a long time, it has been on my must do one day list every since I saw. So I went for it. I wish I could show a better picture but there is no one here to take a picture of me with it so the floor is the model. The color is more like the second picture midpoint. I used Cascade Sierra in color #06, salmon. I really like the yarn and will be looking to get more of it. I am planning on knitting this pattern again....the ripping of the stitches is so much fun....frogging with a purpose.


Okay so this one isn't completed but I wanted to share. Dear Son's friends are having a baby so I am knitting a sweater. This is Helena from Knitty. The yarn is Bernat Jacquard in Berries and Cream. I am planning on making the older sister a matching sweater. I hope the parents like the sweaters and hats when they are all done. I will post more photos when they are done.

First Lace Shawl

My dear friend Robbie talked me into to trying lace work, actually making a shawl. I knew she would be there to help me if I needed it or to just hold my hand long distance if need be. I am so glad that she

persuaded me to try this lovely skill on a larger scale than a dishcloth.

I have made lace dishcloths and bookmarks. Heck I even mad a that lovely bamboo shawl int he ripple pattern. This is different though, i used Berroco Ultra Alpaca Fine color Boysenberry Mix. I picked this up at The Wool Company in Bandon while on our anniversary trip. I am not usually a purple person, i have nothing against purple, it just isn't my favorite color. So I was surprised when I kept returning to that hank of yarn. I figure I was drawn to it for a reason, now I know why.

Anyways I used that lovely yarn to knit up The Traveling Woman shawl. The pattern can be found here http://feministy.com/traveling-woman/ It is also available through Ravelry. It is a great pattern, easy enough to follow. She wrote it out and charted so everyone can make this beautiful shawl.

Robbie, thank you so much for encouraging me to try something new and fabulous. I owe you one!!!!

WAVES AT SHORE ACRES

One of the highlights of our our coastal anniversary trip was the ocean was in her full glory. The video above shows just a little bit of the great waves that were happening. Shore Acres Park sits high on a cliff over looking the ocean below. The swells were 20 to 30 feet but once they hit the rocks the waves reached up to 200 ft in the air. It truly was magnificent to see. God is amazing with all the beauty he shares with us. I will post pics of the trip later but had to share is video now, enjoy.