For a while I am going to use my blog as an aid in becoming a non smoker.
I have smoked on and off since I was 17. This is one of the worst decisions I have ever made, becoming a smoker that is.
On Sunday, Easter Day, I smoked 18 cigarettes. I had my last one right around 10 pm. Monday morning when I woke up, my chest was tight, I was coughing, and I couldn't breathe. I grabbed a cigarette from my pack and went right out the back door. I lit it and took a drag, cough cough cough cough, I put it out and said I was done. At that moment in time I felt weak but very strong at the same time. I knew right then and there that I was meant to be a non-smoker.
Since then I have stumbled twice, once on Monday afternoon and once today. Monday I smoked the entire cigarette and felt horrible. I needed to smoke that one so I could remind myself why I was giving them up. Today, when I stumbled I did it out of pain and anger. My wrist was hurting and I was angry at myself for making my wrist hurt. There are other reasons why I was angry but they really aren't that important. I know the reasons and have talked them over with myself. I only smoke part of that cigarette, once I realized what I was doing I put the thing out. I came in the house, changed my clothing, brushed my teeth and scrubbed my hands.
Once Scott got home from work today I told him what I had done. He was understanding and supportive. He did take the rest of the ones I had laying around and got rid of them for me....out of sight out of mind kind of thing...we will see. I am lucky to have a great supportive husband. When his turn to quit comes I will remember how wonderful he has been for me and try to be just as great for him.
Actually for the most part this has gone pretty well. Tuesday was rough, today was rough but not as bad as Tuesday. I know I will have bumps in the road, we all do in all parts of our lives. I just need to pick myself up, brush myself off and move forward. No looking back and dwelling on my stumbles.
No, I really am not using any aids, the nicotine gum once in a while. I really can't use the aids. I have an allergy to the patch and gum. The pills make me feel crazy. So I am quitting cold turkey with a touch of gum here and there. I am finding myself scratching a lot today, not sure if it is from the gum or from the partial cigarette I smoked earlier. I know that no matter which one it is it is because of my allergy to nicotine....fun.
I really am ready to be a non-smoker. I am moving forward and will be posting as I make this journey. If you get bored with my posts, move on, if you find inspiration great, keep coming back to read as I progress. Please just remember these posts are for me and a way to help myself. Wish my luck. If you are a smoker and wanting to quit, there is no time like the present, join me on my journey.